The Day I Loved My Hips
By Elizabeth | November 25, 2008
The first time I loved my hips I was in the middle of supporting a friend of mine through the birth of her first child. It was the first birth I had ever attended as a doula and I was flying high on no sleep and adrenaline. The time had come for my friend to begin pushing and her husband and I were helping her to bear down by supporting her legs and gently pushing her knees to her chest during each contraction. Trouble was, my arms were giving out from the effort of bracing her foot and holding up her leg during and between contractions. In a moment of sheer brilliance as we awaited the next contraction, I thrust my ample hip toward my right, in a perfect belly dance hip extension, and rested my friend’s leg upon it.
It worked perfectly for two reasons. One, my friend was encouraged to rest the entire weight of her leg on the cushiony softness of my hip. She used less of her energy trying to self-consciously hold back some of her weight and could do so in comfort knowing she had something softer than my hand and arm to hold her leg aloft. Two, it allowed me precious seconds to rest my arms and collect myself during her long labor so I was able to be more cheerful, supportive, and in-the-moment.
As I drove home from the hospital after the birth of my friends’ perfect daughter, I was euphorically happy and deeply appreciative of my body in a way I hadn’t been before.
Fast forward to yesterday. The Boyfriend and I were downstairs enjoying some computer time when he was overcome with pain throughout his entire body. (This pain is not something new and we believe it is one of the many symptoms relating to his brain damage. Since we are still in the discovery phase we don’t have a great explaination as to the cause of this swiftly overwhelming full-body pain.) From experience, we know that as soon as the pain comes on we must drop everything and get him to our bed right away. If we wait too long, he can no longer walk and I cannot carry him (I’ve had to call 911 before when I couldn’t get him all the way upstairs. That wasn’t fun - for me or for him). Even acting upon the first signs is not often early enough; the pain is so great that he must have assistance bearing his weight up the stairs to the bedroom.
Using the birth story above as inspiration, he grasps my hips as I lead the way up the stairs. Unlike using my shoulders or my arms to hold him up, he can rest almost his entire body weight upon my hips and it adds no stress to my lower back or neck. We can move more quickly and with less pain on his part and my effort and chance for injury are lessened considerably.
I’m not certain I’d recommend this technique to everyone. We did a lot of trail and error before discovering this way of doing things. There are also quite a few obstacles within the house that make this technique more effective for us and it probably wouldn’t be necessary if we were in a different setting. Even so, I’m unbelievably grateful for discovering how useful my hips can be. Anybody have any babies or groceries that need carrying? My hips are great for that too.
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Stung but not crushed. . .
By Elizabeth | November 10, 2008
I didn’t mean to neglect my little blog. I guess you could say I was suffering from burnout? I haven’t mentioned it here before but, in addition to business start-up stuff, I’m also lending a helping hand to The Boyfriend as he navigates some devastating health issues, treatments that are as bad or worse than the original problem, and new found disability. It’s been rough, to say the least. But we’re still laughing every day and we’re still disgustingly, awesomely, in love.
As for me, well, I’ve had some health challenges of my own crop up in the last three to six months. Without any change to my diet or the amount of exercise I get, I’ve mysteriously gained between forty and fifty pounds. The weight is mostly in my middle, which is unusual for me as I’m substantially pear-shaped. My naturopathic doctor has been tirelessly working to determine the cause of this sudden weight gain (which we believe is mostly water weight) and have only recently made any progress at all. The long and short of it is: I’m uncomfortable as hell, none of my clothes fit, and I’m freakin’ exhausted.
After months of exams, various treatments, bloodwork, etc, my ND suggested that I get an abdominal ultrasound in order to rule out several other possibilities (like tumors, endometriosis, issues with my lymph system and so forth). Since I’m currently without insurance and I’m low income, we decided the cheapest option would be to get a referral for an ultrasound from a local community health center. The first two CHCs I contacted were not accepting new patients but the third one wasn’t too far a drive and had appointment times open right away.
When I called to make an appointment, I should have been suspicious right away when I had to explain three times that I wasn’t pregnant but I needed to get a referral for an abdominal ultrasound due to sudden, significant, water weight gain.
The day of the appointment arrived and, as expected, the first thing they wanted to do was weigh me. I’ve had a standing rule for the last two years or so that I don’t mind being weighed but I don’t want to know the number. I’ve found that when I know the number of my weight, I can’t keep the number from repeating over and over in my head. This leads to weeks of disordered eating and lowered positive body image and self-esteem. Luckily, the nurse was totally cool about my request. The next thing they ask me to do is a pregnancy test. Yeah, sure, I suppose my sudden weight gain could be a baby but isn’t it normal to ask of a patient suspects anything or if they’re sexually active first? I mean, hell, even Planned Parenthood doesn’t spring pregnancy tests on me unless I think I might be knocked up. I hadn’t expected a pee test. It caught me completely off guard.
I had high hopes for the doctor I was assigned to see, Dr. Kimberly Painter (of the SeaTac HealthPoint clinic). She was cheerful and friendly and seemed impressed that I was so proactive in regard to my health. I explained my ultrasound request and what my ND and I had been doing so far to determine the cause of my recent weight gain. I made sure to tell her about my rule regarding being weighed as well and neither of us brought up any specific numbers other than that I had gained 40-50 lbs. It wasn’t until Dr. Painter handed me a printout for Meridia that I began to suspect things were not going well. Even so, I was just there for the referral and I had no intention of starting expensive and dangerous diet drugs so I didn’t make a fuss. Dr. Painter exclaimed over how excited she was to get an obese patient who didn’t have any obesity related diseases and how happy she was to be able to start me on the Meridia early to work to prevent them. Then (and I should have seen it coming), she recommended Weight Watchers and informed me that she saw no medical reason for me to have an ultrasound. All I had to do was reduce my caloric intake and take the Meridia to suppress my appetite (we hadn’t discussed my diet or exercise regimen at all). She lectured me on portion sizes, telling me that all the exercise in the world wouldn’t help me lose weight if I kept choosing the large Costco muffins over the tiny, bite-sized, ones (WTF?!).
When I informed the doctor that I was fundamentally opposed to Weight Watchers, her face clouded and I could tell she was getting angry. I was told to go to Jenny Craig then, just as long as I did something to reduce my daily caloric intake. Almost as an afterthough, she decided to have me do a blood test and a 24 hour urine collection so they could test me for Cushings (even after she explained that I had neither the body type nor any of the other symptoms of Cushings). In a last ditch effort on my part, I attempted to explain that calorie intake (my usual is around 1800) and appetite aren’t an issue for me and that the weight gain came on suddenly with no changes in my diet or exercise patterns and appeared to be mostly water weight. I also told her I had already been tested for Cushings and the test came back negative. Her response? “Someone who weighs 357 lbs needs to make lifestyle changes!” And that was that. I was sent to the lab and didn’t see her again.
So, all in all, that experience stung like hell. Yet, it wasn’t a crushing blow - not like it would have been just a few short years ago. I can thank the Fatosphere and this blog for that, I suppose. It feels pretty good to know that I stuck up for my self, I protected my boundaries as best I could, I didn’t get emotional (at least not until I was alone in the lab), and I had logical arguments on hand to throw at every one of Dr. Painter’s assumptions (even if I wasn’t as eloquent as I would have liked to be).
As it stands now, I’m working with my wonderful ND, Dr. Lynn Mikel on next steps and I guess we’ll see what happens.
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Love Your Body Day!
By Elizabeth | October 15, 2008
Happy Love Your Body Day, everybody!
The image above is the winning design from the Love Your Body Day 2008 Poster Contest. Click on the image to be spirited away to the Love Your Body Day website.
What are you doing today to celebrate?
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Fat Talk Free Week!
By Elizabeth | October 14, 2008
It’s Fat Talk Free Week, everybody! This week we celebrate how awesome we are by not talking smack about our bodies!
For more information on Fat Talk Free Week, check out Kate Harding’s article over at Broadsheet. Or you can go to the Fat Talk Free Week website here.
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My grudging respect for Jillian Michaels. . .
By Elizabeth | October 8, 2008
I’m gonna come clean. I think the Biggest Loser is a sham and I’m not a fan of BL trainer Jillian Michaels whose “empowerment” of others often seems more like verbal abuse. And yet, I have to admit that in her interview with Leslie over at The Weighting Game her answer to the following question won over a significant portion of my heart (not enough to start watching her on TV, but hey). I’ve emphasized my favorite parts of her answer.
“I desperately need to motivate my 16-year-old daughter to get fit. She’s not overweight, just very unfit, eats horribly and hates physical activity. I see her starting to gain weight and I’m wondering if you have ideas or tips to get her interesting in being more active? I want her to love exercise, not just do it because she’s afraid of getting fat.” - Valerie
“The key here is DO NOT make an issue out of her weight. If you make it an issue or your daughter feels alienated, the likelihood is the girl will go in the opposite direction and say, ‘OK, you don’t love me they way I am? Watch this.’ That could mean anything from overeating to anorexia to bulimia. Your best bet is to lead by example. Work out, keep healthy foods in the house. Don’t make it about the teenager but about the entire family being healthy. Is there something she’d be interested in exploring? If the girl is into dance, sign her up for hip-hop classes. Horseback riding, marital arts - make it about her being social and perfecting a craft. My mom got me into martial arts without saying, ‘Hey, you’re a fat kid.’ It made sense to me – I was getting picked on a lot and [it empowered me.]”
Seeing as Jillian is the kind of trainer who would scare me shitless if I had to work out with her, I found her response not only unexpected but inspiring and joyful. It’s great to see a fitness guru really promoting taking pleasure in movement. Color me shocked and pleased.
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Allison Strine’s Inspiring Art!
By Elizabeth | October 7, 2008
You might say I was a latecomer to the whole Etsy party. The good news is that I have since seen the error of my ways and I only wish I had gotten on that particular bandwagon earlier. With one tiny shop of my own and another on the way, I take great joy in being part of the handmade universe in its constantly expanding little corner of the internet.
You can imagine my delight when, entirely by accident, I came across the art of Allison Strine, a collage artist living in Georgia, who has a quirky style, an inspiring voice, and a big message. On her website she describes perfectly what attracted me to her shop:
There are so many negative messages sent to women about our bodies, and it is important to me that they are made of all shapes, from massive silhouettes to pencil thin bodies, and their skin and feathers come in every color imaginable.
I’m listening for that quirky, sometimes-irreverent, sometimes-touching, but upbeat message that most of us think – but never think to say about ourselves. I want to make art that sends a positive message to my daughter about what it means to be a girl, to help her to understand that she is much more than what others see on the outside.
I’d be hard-pressed to choose a favorite. I mean, on her Etsy shop alone, you have to decide between art prints, greeting cards, magnets, and pendant necklaces! I’m leaning toward the necklaces, myself. That way I could wear whatever message spoke to me that day. These are tough decisions!
Seriously, though. Go check out her amazing art. Click on the image above to be whisked away to her Etsy shop!
And now you all know what I’m asking for for Christmas!
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Poetry Monday: Spacesuit
By Elizabeth | October 6, 2008
Spacesuit
Just as Astronauts
Must wear unweildy
Spacesuits to survive
A hostile, alien environment,
So too is my soul
Adorned with flesh and bone
A Spacesuit made by Jesus of NASA
For planet Earth.
Mine came with
Round hips, big tits, and pink lips –
Two sets –
They say that makes me a girl,
Whatever that means.
My spacesuit is NOT beautiful –
No modern silicone or acryllic upgrades.
It’s been mended in several places
(I’ve even outgrown it a few times)
The blue web of my heating-and-cooling system
Shows through the pale parts
And there’s plenty of extra fuel cells
Stored in the trunk.
My spacesuit is deliciously functional!
Performing all the best verb-commands
(Run-dance-fight-scream-play-giggle-hug-cry-tug-sleep)
I traverse this alien landscape
Collecting adventures like precious specimens.
Eventually my spacesuit will
Get too big and wrinkly and fall off,
And I’ll return again to the Mothership
For a replacement.
Written by my good friend Pamela. Shared with permission.
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On Underpants, Body Image, and Dinner Conversation. . .
By Elizabeth | September 29, 2008
Last Friday I re-met my oldest brother. My best guess is that it had been 12-14 years since I had last seen him. With a twenty year age difference between us and his fancy-pants VP position at a big company, I wasn’t sure what to expect in terms of relate-ability. I wore my +2 Lucky Polka Dot Underpants of Eloquence and Wit, just in case.
My least favorite part of almost any conversation is the “so what do you do?” line. Seeing as my oldest brother and his “new”* wife were near-strangers, the “what do you do?” topic was leapt upon first thing. For many of the same reasons I refused to go to my 10 year high school reunion, I feel uncomfortable explaining that I’m in the midst of starting my own business, working part time, and blogging about body image. It doesn’t have quite the same ring as, say, my younger brother’s EE degree and swanky corporate engineering gig. Also, as open as I am about this blog and its positive body image mission, explaining it to others can be tricky due to the sensitive subject matter and the hot or cold reactions most individuals have to that particular topic. So you can imagine how pleased I was at the warm reception my oldest brother and his wife gave to my explaination of my blog, my feelings about body image and fat acceptance, and of the fatosphere in general. Whew! What a relief!
As it turned out, the evening was spectacular. My brother was just as funny and down-to-earth as he ever was and his wife was absolutely delightful! I had nothing to worry about after all. . .although my lucky underpants still came in handy during the dinner conversation.
* I say “new” because although they have been married for years my family here in the Northwest had never met her before.
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A Light Dusting Of Posts. . .
By Elizabeth | September 17, 2008
As you may or may not have noticed, posts have been a smidgen light ’round here lately. It just so happens that every ounce of creative juice I contain is being wrung from me by other projects. Life has been delicious and stressful and all around exciting. It feels like I’ve overcome the hump and am gaining speed on a downward slope. Whee!!
I’ve got some posts simmering on the back burner. More stuff soon! I promise!!
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Video: Octapodi
By Elizabeth | September 15, 2008
We’re startin’ the week off cute here at Creamy Nougat Lair!
Behold!
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